Single File

Jessica's self-pity and sobbing are beginning to get on peoples' nerves. Why doesn't she just dump Jake and find somebody else? Jessica insists that it's not easy to meet somebody else. This leads up to the song SINGLE FILE in which she describes the incredible way in which she met Jake and how impossible it is to escape from his clutches. The scene switches to her small bedroom where she is listening to the radio.

(Partial lyrics)

RADIO COMMERCIAL
SINGLE FILE, SINGLE FILE
WE’LL FIND YOU SOMEONE WHO WILL MATCH YOUR STYLE.
WE KNOW IT’S TRUE SINCE WE HAVE THIRTY-THREE,
TRUE MEASURES OF COMPATIBILITY.

"Yes...that’s right. A few days from now your life could be changed from sad-sack single to delightful duo. And it’s all because of our new humanized computer system. Our program is guaranteed to match you up with the perfect dream-mate. Call us today or go to our web site."

(Single File background music)

JESSICA (Picks up phone and dials)
Hello "Single File"? My name is Jessica. I’m 35 years old, five feet tall, brown eyes, average looks, a so-so job, and I’m a little shy. (She fades, music builds and fades. There’s a knock at the door and she calls out) Who’s there already? (Opens door)

JAKE Hi, my name is Jake. Boy the computer sure worked fast. I have the new Single File hot-line service. I think you’re perfect for me babe. Why don’t we have a few glasses of wine to get to know each other?

JESSICA

No thanks. Maybe some other time. (Closes door. Obviously a little disturbed, she sits back down and starts flipping through the paper until her eye catches the Personals Section).

Yes..the Personals Section. Let’s see. Hmmm...80 year old tycoon...no. Rawlings prison, inmate Number 3068786520...NO. (Reads a little more) Ah... here’s one. (Sings)

JESSICA

LONELY MAN, HAS A PLAN.

HE’S TALL AND HANDSOME WITH A GOLDEN TAN.

HE’S RICH AND FAMOUS AND HE’S FUNNY, TOO.

TWO SEVEN SEVEN ZERO NINE THREE TWO.

(She picks up the phone and dials) Hello, Tribune Personals Column? My name is Jessica. I’m 32, five foot two, eyes of blue, good looks, have a great job, and I’m very outgoing. How do I meet the man with a golden tan? Don’t worry?! What do you mean?. (She hangs up the phone, goes back and sits down, and there is a knock at the door) Hello, who’s there?